All Shall Love Me and Despair

All Shall Love Me and Despair

A Not-Yet-Finished Tale

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Synopsis: A Daria/Lord of the Rings crossover

Author's Notes: x

Beautiful and Terrible as the Morning and the Night

Acknowledgements: J. R. R. Tolkien, Prince Charon for “Iron Chef: Fantasy Clichés” September 14, 2005

It was on the fifth day of the Fashion Club’s two-week adventure across Europe that the trouble started. To be sure, the four young women no longer constituted the Fashion Club as it once existed, as the high-school club had been officially dissolved just the year before. However, the girls defied the odds and remained close friends even after the group’s passing. To seal their friendship when they graduated, they embarked on a whirlwind tour of England, France, Germany, Switzerland, and Italy in mid-June, aided by monetary gifts from their parents. Their families waved them goodbye at Lawndale’s airport, and then settled back to await the arrival of postcards from London, Paris, Amsterdam, Venice, and so forth.

No such postcards ever arrived.

As could best be reconstructed later, thanks to not one but two home videos found in cameras left at the scene, the tour bus with the foursome stopped at an archaeological dig near the mountains of southern Germany, where a remarkable site had been uncovered. It was a burial mound believed to date from one of the earliest interglacial periods, when hide-clad humans were supposedly hunting mammoths with spears and contending with cave bears for shelter. The mound reportedly held items of fantastic workmanship, crafted at a level of skill undreamed of by any, even in this so-called postmodern age.

Here at the dig, the four young women disembarked from their bus and walked through the heavily guarded museum near the dig, gazing in astonishment upon the glorious treasures that had been unearthed. Golden cups on which horsemen warred, coiled silver armbands etched with runes, necklaces with stupendous gems and intricate chains, plates bearing the sigils and signs of ancient kingdoms, swords and axes with perfect edges and royal beauty—the eyes of the four girls were filled to overflowing with wonder.

What passed through their minds can only be imagined, but of their doings, something is known. Of the two videos, one was clearly filmed by a young man infatuated with the foursome, and almost every action of the four is shown. The Vietnamese girl, the pigtailed girl, the stunning brunette, and the stunning redhead—these icons became familiar to all in passing months after the cameras were discovered, before the chaos overwhelmed all.

It was the second video, however, that showed the moment that history changed. In the foreground at that moment, the moviemaker focused on a crown that not even the best special-effects agency in Hollywood could have created, a miracle of golden spider’s webs and diamonds that lifted the soul but broke the heart to see. In the distance beyond, an out-of-focus figure stood by a glass case, staring motionless at a selection of jewelry. Something had caught the young woman’s eye, pinning her in place as if she had been run through by one of the fine spearheads on the weapons display on the wall behind her.

As the moviemaker continued his long gaze at the webbed crown, the slim figure in the background moved as if awakening from a long sleep. She turned to face the display of ancient weaponry, then picked out a throwing axe from a bracket on the wall. An alarm sounded, heads turned, a guard shouted. It was too late. The girl approached the case. The axe rose and fell. New alarms sounded as the case shattered, but the girl picked out only a single item from the smashed display. She put the item on her finger—

—and vanished.

The film ended only seconds after that, as the camera fell to the floor.

Two tour buses arrived on the scene only five minutes later, but found no one about. The museum and archaeological dig were abandoned. Eleven police cars arrived with a special weapons and antiterrorist unit only three minutes after that. Of the museum’s fantastic riches, only one item was found missing.

A simple golden ring.

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Original: 09/18/05, modified 09/04/06