“Whah? Oh, don’t worry, the answerin’ machine’ll . . . shit, I must notta turned it on. I’ll be back. No, I can’t stand it ringin’, it gets on my nerves. Oh, sweetie, no one’s gonna see me, the lights are all off. You stay right there, you rock-and-roll wild man. Kiss, kiss! . . . All right, all right, I’m comin’. Ow! Damn it! Shit! No, I’m all right, I just stubbed my toe. Damn it. . . . Um, hello, Doctor Shar’s Swan Shoppe. I’m sorry, the office is . . . yes, honey, this is Doctor Shar, but the office is . . . Dallas? Dallas Grimes? Is that really you? Why, sure I remember you! How you been? . . . uh-huh . . . oh . . . I’m sorry to hear that. You don’t have to elaborate, I ain’t nosy. It’s always somethin’, isn’t it? . . . He did? No! I hadn’t heard . . . oh . . . well, I’m sorry to hear that, too. Ex-husbands have a way of turnin’ up alive when you least expect ‘em to, don’t they? Don’t get me started on that one. . . . Okay, listen . . . wait, listen to me, hold on a moment. You sound like you’re callin’ from a pay phone. Oh, I don’t care where you are, honey. It’s none of my business. Listen, what did you need? I assume you’re callin’ me for a reason. . . . uh-huh . . . uh-huh . . . lordy, are you sure? . . . No, no, if that’s what you want, it’s yours. Complete a change as possible, money no object, and so on, is that it? Okay . . . what? . . . honey, wait, what are you talkin’ ‘bout here? HIV? Hepatitis C? What kind of . . . well, all right, but it doesn’t really matter. I use what they call full protective measures when I operate. It wouldn’t matter what it was, the—wait just a second, hon, I can’t even hear myself think, there’s a helicopter goin’ over. . . . Okay, what was that? . . . Oh, okay. Well, we can do that. I tell you what, I’ll check my calendar and give you a time. Lemme find the light here. Huh? Oh, heh, I was in here with my boyfriend. Yeah, getting’ a little overtime in, you might say. Okay, here, what’s the earliest you could come in? . . . Okay, um, how ‘bout after hours? That way no one’ll . . . right. Um, what about next Tuesday? How ‘bout Wednesday, then? Okay, sweetie, I got you down for sometime after nine. . . . Whew, okay, but it’s extra if I’m gonna be up past midnight for the first appointment. Okay, I gotcha. Listen, good luck with whatever it is goin’ on there, and I hope that ex of yours falls down a manhole. Us girls got to stick together. Yeah, you heard me. Okay, well, you take care of yourself, now. Uh-huh. All right, sweetie. Bye-bye! Whew, sweet Christmas carols, that was . . . that was differ’nt. I guess if you lead a wild lifestyle, you pay for it. Poor thing. . . . Hey, randy Randy, you want a little . . . oh, the big baby’s asleep. They look so cute when they’re unconscious. Huh. Wonder what that girl got herself into this time. If she needs a new face, it can’t be good. She needed a nose job anyway, if I recall. Huh. Good thing she got me up anyway, forgot to set the alarm . . . there. Get Romeo’s butt outta here at six, get myself home and in the shower, and we’re good to go. Whoever’s after her better not come around here. Doctor Shar’s got her buddies Smith an’ Wesson on call. Move over, Randy, you big sweet lug, the doctor needs her beauty sleep.”